im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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