I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
