A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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