from now on my penis is your penis
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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