it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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