I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize