I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
