I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
