You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
