My underwear smells like fireworks.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I need moral support for this bender
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
