I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
