We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
