Too much gin, very little bucket
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
