last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
In America we eat man semen.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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