dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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