ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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