and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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