they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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