she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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