Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
