whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
