sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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