I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
As shirtless as possible
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
