So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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