I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
