I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
