need another drink. this is the easiest way
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize