just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize