Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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