it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
