38 yer olds are good kisserssss
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
