ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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