FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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