I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
