I'm really into asian looking animals
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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