I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Are we still banned from the library?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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