whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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