WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
