His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
