He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize