listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
