Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
