My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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