K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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