i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize