lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize