The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The air taste purple.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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