The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
