Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Semen is not good for contacts.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
