You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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