So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
