Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
even my farts smell like vagina
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
