I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
