so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
