So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We were destined to go to rehab together
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
