OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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