eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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