birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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