i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
